Deja Vu...

So on Monday we went to the Domestic Infant Adoption Orientation Meeting at BCS.  It is required of anyone considering pursuing infant adoption.  While it was very informative and further confirmed our decision to make the switch from International, it was a little deja vu.  Almost a year and a half ago we went to a very similar meeting for International Adoption.  Looking back on both experiences, there was much more trepidation and wonder about International than there was Monday at the domestic meeting.  As I sat there and listened to birth parents speak of their experiences, I couldn't help but feel excited at the possibility of giving love and providing a home for a baby in a similar circumstance.  I have been pregnant twice in the past, but this still felt as exciting as those two experiences.  

And tonight, we just finished submitting the Formal online application for domestic infant adoption.  I'm very happy that things are moving along.  We're just praying that there are some birthparents out there that God has prepared just for us and trusts us with their baby!  

Bittersweet...

Yesterday was Halloween. It was also the day I wrote the letter to the Intra Country Adoption Board notifying them that we are pulling out of the Philippines adoption process.  It was bittersweet.  We put a lot of emotional and sweat energy into the paperwork/process and so to move on and change is a little hard.  But it is sweet, because I still feel such a sense of peace.  I got to hold our neighbor baby last night who is 3 months old and it felt right! ;)  God has a reason and a purpose and His timing is perfect!
********************************************************************************

To:  Inter Country Adoption Board of the Philippines

From:  David and Kim Hoekstra

Grand Rapids, MI  

October 31, 2012

To Whom It May Concern,

After prayerful consideration we have decided to withdraw from the Philippines adoption program.  We are very thankful of the opportunity to be considered for adoption from your country.  We will continue to keep the children of the Philippines in our prayers and hope for loving homes for all of the children in need.

Thank You and God Bless!

Sincerely,

David and Kimberly Hoekstra

Peace In Change..

It has been almost 5 months since we were officially put on the waiting list for the Philippines (15  months since beginning the process).  Those 5 months have been busy and yet long ones.  They have allowed us to take a step back from the paperwork and process and do alot of thinking about the future and our little one that God has out there for us.  There has been some concern, frustration, and uncertainty with the wait.  We were recently told that it would be AT LEAST another 3 years before we would get our referral.  In that three years we would have to redo our paperwork at least once, most likely twice and the excitement was waning.  We've had many questions and felt weighed down.  I don't want to complain about the process of international adoption.  We came into this knowing full well that the only guarantee with this venture is that there would be a long wait.  We thought we were prepared for it but once we took a deep breath and thought about it, we were feeling like we weren't comfortable with the wait afterall and with certain aspects of the international process in general.  We have such a love for international orphans but started thinking maybe adopting internationally isn't the right direction for us.

During lunch last week, David brought up the idea of meeting with the social worker and exploring other options for adopting.  Yes, it was David's idea ;)  But I was definitely willing to explore other options just to see if we felt affirmed in our decision still.  On Monday we met with our BCS social worker and she was well prepared with information on the China Waiting Child program and Domestic Infant Program.  I always thought we were meant to go international, but after talking with her and praying about it we woke up the next morning feeling at peace with a new twist in our journey.  We had decided to switch from International adoption from the Philippines to Domestic Infant Adoption!

We did it!  We are adopting a baby  and we couldn't be happier.  We've described it as a weight has been lifted or we've come out from a cloud of uncertainty.  We know there are no guarantees with Domestic Infant.  It brings a whole new set of challenges, but we feel better equipped for what lies ahead this way.  Even as I write this I am just all kinds of happy inside.  We have talked about it with the boys and they support the decision (although not excited about changing diapers ;)  Luke is looking forward to babysitting.

It is crazy, the comfort and peace that overcomes when you follow God's will and with the amount of peace we've had this week and support/excitement from family and friends we just know that this is God's will for us as we seek to grow our family.  We have so much love to give and can't wait until we can share it with this baby.  This verse came to mind this week after we made the official switch and had been praying for discernement.  Love it!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

I will keep you all updated via this blog as we move along through the process.  It sounds as if things will be moving a bit more quickly from here on out.  Stay tuned.....

Waiting For You....

It has been a really crazy first couple of weeks of summer this year, but was able to sneak away to the beach yesterday with Luke.  The lake always helps my head to clear and listening to the waves, feeling the sand and staring at the water always makes me feel better.  It may be a little silly to say but I feel like I'm closer to God when at the lake.  While soaking up the sand and watching Luke dig I said a prayer that God would allow ICAB to make a decision sooner than later if possible and just give us word.  That was it, nothing big, but it's been on my heart lately and I have been feeling a little discouraged with the process so I felt the need to just pray.  When I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed by the day I checked my email and found this...


David & Kim:

It's official! You are waiting in the Philippines program. ICAB sent the following today:
"ICAB is pleased to inform you that Mr. and Mrs. David and Kimberly Hoekstra was approved on June 1, 2012 for placement of a single child of either gender between 25 to 72 months old or a sibling group of two (2) children of either gender between 25 to 60 months old. Their names are now included in the roster of approved applicants.


Yay, Yay, and double Yay!  As a friend said "This makes me all kinds of happy!"  So it is official!  Ten months into the process, we are on the waiting list for HC3 (or 4).  There is still lots to do to prepare at home, but it's awesome knowing that we are on the list!  


Luke made this sign and we took this picture this morning!  So excited!!

"Waiting For You!"

A step back in the process...

Process:  "A series of actions or steps taken to achieve an end."

We've been told that adoption is a process.  We have also declared time and time again that this adoption has been a process.  Apparently we just didn't understand fully, the process.  We have done everything in our power to fulfill the required steps of the process hoping to get us closer to the end which is a referral for a new little one to love.  We thought we had come to the point of the process where all we had to do was "wait".  We understand that the "waiting" is a long, difficult part of the process but felt good that we had made it to that point.  Apparently we misunderstood this part of the process.

Our paperwork had made it to the Philippines and so we were under the understanding that this meant ICAB would begin reviewing and matching within the next 18-36 months.  Today I received a message from our social worker that stated we have not yet gained official ICAB approval and so we are not yet on the waiting list.  WE ARE NOT EVEN IN THE WAITING PART OF THE PROCESS!

It definitely feels like 2 steps back for us.  I feel as if the end is never to come.  I'm trying to remember that God is in control of this process and to just trust but it's difficult today.

We're praying for "official ICAB approval" so that we can move this along.

My apologies to those of you who have so kindly asked us how things with the adoption are going.  We appreciate the love but I've told many of you that we are "waiting" for referral.  I must retract that..we are waiting for approval...still.

Thankful IN All things.....

I debated  writing this post because it's really not that big of a development in the adoption.  What changed my mind though came about as a result of me reading and studying the book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voscamp. This book is about Ann's journey through life learning how to give thanks and gratitude in the day to day things.  It's about being thankful IN all things and not just for the good things.  This book has shown me that it is possible to take time to give thanks to God even when it seems there isn't much to be thankful for.  I highly recommend the book if you have not read it.  It truly is transforming.

So how does it relate to the latest developments in our adoption process?  Well, I received a message from one of our social workers the other day that said the Intra Country Adoption Board (ICAB) has requested more paperwork.  Apparently there was a discrepancy between the home study report and the doctors report so they are asking the we have the medical reports redone,again.   Also, they wanted Luke (who is now 10 but wasn't when we had the initial paperwork done)  to sign a paper that says he agrees with the decision to adopt. My initial reaction to the request for MORE paperwork was a big sigh of frustration..REALLY?..More?  But then I realized that the fact that they are reading through our dossier and that they caught these things means that someone, somewhere in the Philippines is actually looking at our paperwork!  And this I am truly thankful for!

The past week or two I have been trying to go about life as usual.  I've kept the process and our little one in my prayers, but in my attempt to not fret and worry, I've tried not to make it the number one thing I think about.  I'm trying to really enjoy Micah and Luke and our current family of 4 ;).  The one thing that had been on my mind though recently, is "Did our paperwork make it to the Philippines?, Is anyone looking at it or is it just sitting on a desk in a pile somewhere?".  We hadn't heard anything since sending it out and so I had begun to wonder.  Well, my answer came with the request for more paperwork.   It is NOT just sitting in a pile of papers somewhere.  It DID make it over to the Philippines and yes, someone IS looking it over.  And for this I am truly thankful!

Before reading the book "One Thousand Gifts", I may not have been able to take a deep breath and look for the positive in the situation.  I think my first reaction would have been frustration and worry and it would have stopped there.  I am still not happy to have to ask for more forms to be filled out, more papers to be notarized and more signatures to get.  BUT,  I am now able to look at this frustrating situation and find something to be thankful in it.  I'm truly thankful to know that someone, somewhere in the Philippines is reviewing our Dossier and pray that this is one step closer to a referral!

"Rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks IN all circumstances.  For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:17-19

If only it was this easy....

Felt closer, if just for a few minutes...

The Embassy of the Philippines in Washington, D.C.
The boys wanted to knock on the door and say that we are ready NOW :)

On it's way...FINALLY!

We received this message today from BCS... Woo Hoo!

Nine months after beginning the adoption process, our paperwork is finally in the Philippines.  Yep, 9 months, I've given birth to a healthy stack of paperwork ;)

Dossier to Country Date Confirmed!

March 26, 2012 at 1:16 PM ~ Alison M. Adema, International Services Coordinator

Good news! On the date listed above, your Dossier has been sent to the Philippines! We will be in touch with any new or updated information as it arrives. Please don't hesitate to check in with us or let us know of any questions you have. Sincerely, Your Philippines Team

We are continuing to pray for our child, for the birth family of our child, for loving caretakers in our absence and for time to go swiftly ;)

APPROVAL NOTICE !

 Today we received our I-800A approval from the Department of Homeland Security and Immigration!  Woo Hoo!  This is hopefully the last of the paperwork but what does it mean?

It means that the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) has reviewed our I-800A form, the home study, all evidence submitted and the results of our fingerprint record checks and has determined that we meet the eligibility requirements as the adoptive parents of a child or children.
** As if there was doubt (insert sarcasm)..

WE HAVE BEEN APPROVED TO ADOPT TWO CHILDREN FROM THE PHILIPPINES!

In David's words, "scary and exciting!".

Lord willing, our paperwork will soon be sent to the Philippines where it will sit and wait to be reviewed and matched up with our child/children.  It feels good to almost have this part of the process wrapped up.  But, I am anticipating a long wait for our referral,so I know the hard part of this journey is still to come.  In the meantime we are giving thanks for all of the good reports along the way (I guess we are okay people).  We will also continue to pray for HC3(and 4?),the birth family, the ICAB board who will be matching us in the Philippines and for patience, patience, patience.

Fingerprints and Freedom...

We had another appointment today.  This time it was at the immigration office.  We had to have our fingerprints taken for clearance for the adoption.  It was somewhat of a strange experience.  While the immigration worker took my fingerprints oh so carefully - one by one, I thought to myself, is this what it feels like when you get arrested and have to be fingerprinted?  Only, instead of being convicted or locked up, we were there to be cleared of any crimes or mishaps.

On the other side of the room, while we were confirming our freedom, there were about 10 people of other ethnicities, waiting and filling out paperwork in hopes to gain american citizenship and be free to live here in Grand Rapids.  It struck me of how I take my freedom for granted.  We are so blessed to be where we are!

Waiting expectantly...

This is from my devotions this morning.  It is hopeful encouragement from the book Jesus Calling.  I expect it will be one that I will repeat over and over while we wait for HC3 ;)

"Waiting , Trusting and Hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain." ... "Because you are Mine, you don't just pass time in your waiting.  You can wait expectantly, in hopeful trust.  Keep your 'antennae' out to pick up even the faintest glimmer of My Presence."

"God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.  We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."  (Hebrews 6:18-20)

" Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."  (Psalm 27:14)

Why HC3?

You may have noticed my sign off name on the blog is HC3 tobe.  I've been asked why, what does that stand for?  Well, it's our silly way of referring to our child to be.  The past 8 months haven't been all business and frustration.  We've had fun with the boys discussing possible names.

We learned in our adoption training seminar that it is important to give our child an american name to help him/her fit into our american life.  It is also important to keep her Filipino heritage as well, so we will be using her/his Filipino name as the middle name.  The Philippines does not let you choose the gender so we have to be prepared for a girl or a boy.  The girl name was easy.  We've loved this name since we were expecting Micah but never got a chance to use it.  Choosing a boy name has been a little more challenging, but fun as well.  We've sat at supper with the boys some nights throwing out names and have come up with things such as Jude, Herman, Jonah, Ezekiel "Zeke", and some that were just plain goofy.  It's fun to bond with the boys like this regarding the adoption but in the end, we never did come up with boy name that we are certain of.  We have our ideas but we also have time.

So why HC3? Well, as we were talking about our future child it was confusing to say "he", "his", "her", or just baby?  So, David and the boys came up with HC3, "Hoekstra Child #3".  It's not as cute and personal as an actual name would be, but at least it gives us a way to make "the baby" more of a reality by referring to him or her as HC3.

We look forward to the day that we get the call and are holding the picture of HC3 and say welcome "________________".  

Waiting..

Peder Eide ran a new post on his blog today that was exactly what I needed to hear and thought I would share.  Go to blog.pedereide.com to read his "Waiting" entry.
Thanks Peder!

Ups and downs, Highs and Lows...

We knew from the beginning that this journey would require a lot of patience.  I am not the most patient person but thought that I could handle this no problem.  I admit, I may have been a little naive.  This has  been a humbling learning experience with its' share of highs and lows. (And we are only about a third of the way through the process).

August 2011
 High... We felt the call to enter the process of adoption and as a family we were excited to get started
September 2011
Low... Home visits that were somewhat stress full and nerve racking.  LOTS of paperwork to complete, appointments to make and fulfill.
October 2011
High...Loving, supportive feedback from family and friends.  This was confirmation that we were/are following God's will in the process.
November 2011
High...Dossier FINISHED!!
Low...Waiting for approval.
December 2011
Waiting..waiting... trying to enjoy the Christmas season while we wait.  Praying that we would be approved.
January 2012
High... Our Homestudy was officially approved!
Low...Two days after hearing of approval we were told that we actually needed to change a few things in our Dossier and there were a couple of requirements added.
February 2012
This has been a rough few weeks of the journey.  Our emotions have been high,there may have been a few tears ;0 and we've had to discuss if we are in fact on the right path.  Is The Philippines where God wants us adopting from?  We have realized that we have been operating on our timeline/schedule and not necessarily His timeline.

I'm reminded that prayer is so important throughout all of this.  We're now focusing on praying for the process to pick up, our direction in the process, the birth family of our child and the child God has out there for us.

The paperwork process....

Well, I can hardly believe it but it's been almost 8 months since we began the adoption process.  Once we weighed the options of which countries we could and could not apply to and finally decided on The Philippines, we were able to begin the official paperwork.  There was ALOT of it.  There was the formal application, the dossier and the home study to complete before we could be officially approved.

The formal application was the easy part.  The dossier was another story.  This packet of information included references, autobiographies (from each of us), medical exams, psychological exams, drug tests, criminal checks, financial statements and photos.  In the end it was about 30 pages long.  Needless to say we are healthy, drug free, upstanding citizens!

The homestudy consisted of 4 homevisits from our BCS Social Worker Kim.  Each time she came she asked questions, looked over the house and dug deep into not only our current and future situation but also our childhoods.  She even interviewed the boys.  I was a bit nervous about the home visits. It was good for us to experience but hard to wait to hear if someone approves of you and the life you lead.  In case you wondered, they decided we are okay ;)

We were hoping our paperwork would have been sent to the Philippines already but unfortunately, due to changes and delays, it is still sitting in the US.

A family decision...

Looking back to August, I smile.  Once David and I decided that we should move forward with adoption we decided that we had better discuss it with Micah and Luke first.  After dinner one night we called our first "family meeting".  We asked the boys what they thought about the idea of us adopting a baby.  Their reactions were priceless (in my opinion).  Micah had a funny look on his face like a half smile, question mark type of look so we said, we'd like to adopt a child but wanted to make sure you guys are okay with it.  At this Micah said "sure" with a big smile (he can be a man of few words), and Luke yelled "YAY", which I was not surprised since I knew Luke has always wanted to be a big brother and not just the little brother.  They both then said, can we get a girl?
That was the plan..

*Oh and I have to point out that David, the one who was cautious and hesitant, almost totally against adoption for years, was the first to send out emails and make phone calls to friends and family to tell them we had decided to enter the process :)  The supportive response we've received from everyone has been humbling and overwhelming.  God is good!

In the beginning....

 Blogging is scary to me because it requires sharing your thoughts and feelings and putting yourself out there, which I am not good at.  But, at the suggestion of a dear friend who is also an adoptive mom, I am starting a blog that will follow the Hoekstra family's journey through the adoption process.  


Bear with me as we back up to the beginning.  It was August 2011 in Green Lake, WI.  We were spending the week at Northern Pines Family Camp which we do every summer together.  This year the worship leader, Peder Eide, shared his testimony regarding his family's decision to adopt and how it had blessed his family.  It was a very moving testimony and looking back, we know that God used that to soften our hearts towards adoption.  While neither David or I discussed it at camp that week, we later admitted to have been thinking about it constantly throughout the week.  


After we left camp and came home, God still worked on our hearts.  We were prompted by a separate conversation to bring up the option of another child.  We have 2 incredibly awesome boys and didn't have any regrets but I've always had adoption on my heart and David's heart was never quite there.  This night, while walking, he told me that maybe we should revisit the idea of adopting.  In his words, "He had been wrestling with God, and God won.".  woot woot! 


That's where our journey began.  We immediately began the application process.  We weighed all of our options regarding possible countries to adopt from and without consulting each other first, came up with the same list of 3.  After further narrowing it down, we decided on The Philippines.    It was not our original plan as we went in hoping to request a girl under 2 years of age and the Philippines does not let you specifiy gender or guarantee a child under 2.  Nonetheless, we felt like God placed this country on our hearts. 


To be continued....